Jen's Pregnancy Blog

Our appointment today was not terribly exciting. Again, all of my stats came back good. I’ve gained another 1.5 pounds since my last appointment two weeks ago. I’m now up to 77.5 pounds, taking me within a half pound of my pre-pregnancy weight.

Brian asked Dr B about different fetal milestones from now to the future. The doc took us through 24 weeks to 32-34 weeks and gave us the statistics on the fatality rates of babies born that early as well as the rates of permanent disability as a result of being born prematurely. As I have said repeatedly, the longer one can keep a pregnancy going, the better those statistics get. Once a pregnancy gets to 32 weeks, the likelihood of death goes down dramatically, as well as the possibility of permanent disability. So, while no date has been set yet for my c-section, my personal goal is sometime after 32 weeks (which will fall during the last full week of September). I still think it will be around 34 weeks, which will take us to around October 2^nd. But only time will tell.

This weekend, July 4^th weekend, we have been working on the nursery. Amber and Roger came over yesterday and worked most of the day painting the room a beautiful yellow. They did a beautiful job! Amber will be back tomorrow to finish the stripes on the one wall. It should be really neat.

In the meantime, I had bought a whole nursery set on Ebay with the Suzy’s Zoo theme. I got the comforter, sheets, receiving blankets, bed ruffle, window valance, diaper hanger, mobile, lamp and a bunch of other stuff for decorating the nursery. And it arrived today! I had so much fun unpacking the boxes. The stuff will look so neat with the yellow walls.

I have also already bought a crib and small dresser for the room. Both are white. With the yellow walls and our beautiful wood molding throughout the house, I thought the white would look best. So far I’m very happy with the results. Now that the painting is about done, my sister and brother-in-law will be over in the next few weeks to help me put together the furniture and get it moved into the nursery.

I can’t remember the last time I had this much fun!

On June 19^th, Brian & I went for the “anatomy” ultrasound at the doctor’s office. The radiology tech, Carol, took all kinds of measurements of baby, including head circumference, abdomen circumference, and the length of all the long bones of the body.

During the ultrasound we saw Baby’s heart beating and both sides of the heart were in rhythm with each other. She also looked at Baby’s brain to see if certain structures are present; all of the structures are just where they are supposed to be. We could see that Baby is producing urine, which means the kidneys are working and there are no obstructions. We could see the bones of the face; this can tell you if Baby has Downs’ Syndrome; Baby does not. You can even see if Baby has a cleft lip (although they can’t check for cleft palate if Baby’s lip is not cleft; the fully grown lip is in the way); again, Baby is in the clear.

Once all the measurements were taken, the radiologist told us that Baby’s long bones were measuring just like they would on any other baby, meaning that our baby is probably an average-size child. The final item on the agenda for the ultrasound was finding out whether Baby is a boy or girl. Since Brian had to find out (I couldn’t talk him out of it), then I had to know too. Carol got a great look; Baby is definitely a girl!

Now that the ultrasound was over, Carol went to get Dr. B. He confirmed that Baby is definitely an average-sized girl. And everything is going just as it should be. You know it’s a good day when the doc comes in grinning from ear to ear!

A couple of notes about how I’m doing: All of the routine tests and measurements they do on me went just fine. No problems with blood sugar, liver, kidneys or blood pressure. And I had gained another pound in two weeks, taking me from 75 to 76 pounds. Now, understand, I began the pregnancy at 78 pounds, so I still have not yet gained back all that I lost during the first trimester. But as long as I continue the trend of gaining weight (and I’m not just eating junk!), they seem to be happy. In fact, Dr. B said at the end of the appointment that I’m doing better than he thought I would be to this point! So, that either means his expectations were too low or I’m doing really great. Either way, everybody’s happy!

Since becoming pregnant (and announcing it to the world!), I have gotten a lot of different reactions and questions, as I’ve talked about here before. But there is one that I feel I need to address head on.

At a gathering a few weeks ago, an elderly woman I know was discussing my pregnancy with me over a meal. This is someone I’ve known casually for about two years. (For the sake of conversation & anonymity, I will call her Lucy in this entry.) I want to say here and now that I do not believe she meant any malice by her comment (and I’m certain that others have thought it, although few others have said much). During our conversation I was explaining that, because of the genetic nature of our different types of dwarfism, Brian and I had a fifty-fifty chance of having a child with my type of dwarfism.

Lucy’s reaction to this news was one of surprise and concern. She made a comment to the effect that perhaps those odds were much too high. That somehow I was being somewhat irresponsible in trying to have a child with so much risk of that child inheriting my dwarfism. This seemed to imply that perhaps I shouldn’t be doing this. Again, I want to emphasize that I don’t believe that Lucy meant to be offensive or judgmental. But her reaction does reflect a certain mindset that exists in our society.

Here’s how I look at it. If my baby has dwarfism, okay. If he/she doesn’t, okay. See, I don’t see myself as having “suffered” or as having less of a life because I’ve spent it in this body. I was very lucky; I was born to parents who raised me with the belief that, just because I was different, didn’t mean I couldn’t do almost anything in life that I want to.

Yes, I recognize that parts of my childhood were different from most kids (surgery and whatnot). I recognize that there are aspects of my life that are not as convenient for me as they are for an average-sized person. But does this mean my life experience is less than someone else’s life? Does it mean that I haven’t gotten as much out of life as anyone else? So far I have lead a full and happy life. Someone very wise once said that life is what you make of it. And so I have. If there’s something I want to do, I find a way to do it. That’s how I’ve always done things. And that’s how I will bring up my child, regardless of whether or not that child is a little person.

I know I’ve probably opened a can of worms here. And I know I have not yet come close to all of the arguments on both sides of this idea. But, I’m not here to write a novel. I simply wanted to put to rest my reasoning in all of this. If you, the reader, is really interested in this whole subject, there are lots of websites and books about bioethics. I strongly encourage you to do your own research.

[Author's Note: This was written June 10th. I've gotten a little behind on events, so I'm trying to catch up in chronological order. Thanks for your patience.]

The further along I get in this pregnancy, the more frequently people are now asking if we know it is a boy or a girl. Since I haven’t had an ultrasound in a while, we don’t know. However, it is at the next ultrasound that we can find out, if we want to. I have maintained that I want it to be a surprise. Brian is concerned that, if we tell them we don’t want to know, it will cause the technician to not do a complete exam. I disagree; medical professionals are not apt to neglect their responsibilities based on a request like this. I would argue that they can still conduct a thorough exam without telling us the gender. We can simply look away from the screen when necessary. We will talk some more about this.

I am reluctant to tell people Baby’s gender. I want Baby to be able to grow up and be the person he/she wants to be. So much in our cultural is determined by our genders and it shouldn’t be. Now with this ultrasound technology, we can assign those roles before they ever take their first breath. Our culture is so enamored with this that it’s difficult to find gender-neutral clothes and toys for babies – I’ve tried!

Enough of my rant. We’ll see what happens.